On January 31st 2012, I published my first book on Amazon. ‘A mighty petition I shall send. I was super excited I started putting structures in place to market the book; Facebook, Instagram, Website etc. I had helped my ex to write a book that elevated him as an international speaker and I just couldn’t wait to blow up with my book!
Then I made the biggest mistake ever. I showed this to someone very close to me someone whose opinion I always valued and at the time desperately needed.But with a few dispiriting statements and some condescending looks, she totally decimated my confidence.
Looking back, I have learnt alot from this incident although it took me a darn long time.
The first is not everyone who is close to you, understands or has heard the call that God has upon your life. So you don’t need to rely on anyone's permission to elevate yourself.
The second, If they don’t understand the call you have in life. It is ok to let them go. You can love them from a distance but you don’t need those kind of people in your inner circle. Your inner circle of people should not be limited to people just because they are related to you or you have been friends forever.
I have come to realise that the people closest to you have a lot of power and influence over you and without you even realising they can build or break you.
If someone is always negative, critical, finding fault, then they’re not for you. Those who are for you will always celebrate where you are going.
When I contrast the reactions of my brother Derrick and the person in question it was like night and day! He was so excited for me. He talked about book tours, book launches,distribution and printing. Alas! his enthusiasm could not dig me out of the hole of negativity that that person had dug me into. I never opened that book again,never marketed it and could not even bear to look at something I had worked so hard on.
Looking back, I can recall so many dreams of mine that were nipped in the bud by people who were supposed to be supportive of me.Giving so called constructive criticism that were actually negative.doomsday prophecies. That created a vicious cycle of defeat that left me feeling beaten down.
With time I realised that I could not dole out blame because I had given them the power and the permission. After all, no one can make you feel inferior without your consent as Eleanor Roosevelt insight fully put it. I was also too desperate for the approval of people who had not heard the calling that I had upon my life or were just not willing to let me shine hence their belittling of my dreams.
I am glad to say that having finally understood this, I am working on myself and being OK with loving from a distance. I am setting boundaries, building a positive inner circle and most importantly protecting my dreams from negativity as I nurture it .
I am also finding contentment in the acceptance that my true value does not come from people; it comes from God.God didn’t design the plan of my life and say that it will only come into fruition if other people do what is right.
I am going ahead to do the second edition of my book and relaunching it so look out for it.