Shade but no shade but shade.....The Lying Aunty Saga
So I think I have the greatest family in the world. Not just my immediate family but to God be the Glory I have the most beautiful, kind hearted and incredible uncles, aunties, cousins, nieces and nephews and I love that we are a really really huge family.
There is not a day that goes by that I am not grateful to God for being born into this family. The love I have for them and my eagerness never to let them down always keeps me grounded.
and there is always a but.
But there is this one Aunty that I have tells the most horrendous fibs. I mean like the liar liar pants on fire type! The worst part of it is that they are totally unnecessary.
Some of us who are closest to her know about it and try to laugh it off and try to get along with her for the sake of family peace.
Plus we are a really big family so unless you have been personally affected by her drama. It is kind of a little dirty secret.
For those of us that have had the displeasure of being affected by her nasty tales, it is a secret we keep grudgingly as we are still left with the very bitter aftertaste of her bad behaviour.
For me personally, what I dislike most about this whole thing is the hypocrisy that goes along it. She is always fronting like a bornagain Christian!
So......... I could have lived with it. I really could.
Until we got this family whatsapp group. And lo and behold there she was Aunty Alternative facts in the mist, active on the family forum posting like John the baptist himself had bath her in the river Jordan.
At first I choose to ignore it.
I muted the notifications.. But her 'Christian' posts and videos filled my phone cache.
The really easy thing was to just remove myself from the family group but I couldn't I didn't want my family to think that I didn't appreciate their company or was a snob. Plus I wanted to keep up with family business. I thought about just coming up with a lie and removing myself from the group hmmmm I knew that wouldn't fly my family members are too smart for that.
So I have been enduring
But endurance of hypocrisy is not one of my strengths. I have been overwhelmed by this very strong urge to out her!
With every post she put out the stronger this urge grew. There were times when I felt I couldn't make it and I was about to call bull on her Lance Armstong like ass but Jesus saw me through.
A couple of days ago, I could take it anymore. I felt I was going to burst. I called my cousin the group admin and confided in him that he needed to take me off from the family group to prevent the disgrace of our Aunty.
I also could not help myself, I spilled the beans on some of her terrible lies. I just needed to vent.
Immediately I felt better.
But later I began to feel sad again.
I had taken myself out of a family group I loved so that I didn't have to tell the truth. Me, the outspoken human rights, women rights, truth and justice crusader. I couldn't even raise the truth amongst my loved ones. That made me sad.
I realised that my whole saga is symptomatic of the problems every African child or young person in Africa or of an African background has and has had before me.
The main reason why couldn't call out my Aunty and post her litany of destructive lies on the family forum was simple.
As an African, an elder is never wrong.
Outing her would have been seen as disrespectful , I may have even been ostracised as disrespectful although I knew it will save a lot of grief and destruction. I would have still been wrong in the eyes of my loved ones.
It is true that most often than none the voice of an elder is the voice of wisdom. But what do we do when elders abuse their position in such a terrible manner?
Some people like this my Aunty do it because they know that there is a shroud of sacredness attributed to gray hair that would always protect them and keep them from being exposed.
When we are young our elders tell us to tell the truth even if it kills you. So why can't we hold these kind of elders accountable to their words?
What recourse does an African child/ youth truly have against elders like these?
For me, that is the part of our culture that doesn't sit easy with me at all. And that is the way I left this issue; sitting uneasily on my heart.
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